It’s all you can do, right?
You know how thirsty guys are these days. Women get hit on enough in public as it is, but take it to the far-reaching internet, and suddenly they’re inundated with hundreds or thousands of online dating messages from guys telling them they’re amazing.
In fact, many women just come online for the ego boost. Any time they want to feel good about themselves, they just log in, ignore messages, and get their daily injection of validation.
How The Hell Can You Craft the Best Online Dating Messages to Break Through That Noise?
You probably think your only fighting chance is the numbers game. So you come up with three or four cute little one-liners and send out so many you get a spam warning.
Nothing but dead static.
The power of numbers does come in handy online, but don’t get carried away. Women are not online robots. They’re flesh and blood, feeling, thinking beings.
And if you want a fighting chance, you have to communicate like a human.
Try Quality Over Quantity
Intuitively, you’d think your one-sentence openers make you seem less thirsty. But these girls know you’re just casting a wide net.
Stop fronting.
A long, well thought-out message stands out in this online dating climate. It shows you’re a real person with a real interest. She almost feels bad deleting it without a read.
The Proper Way to Use “Templates”
Look, using a prewritten message is understandable. Guys have the short end of the stick when meeting women online, and you do have to message a significant amount of hotties to get a reply.
But don’t make the whole message cookie-cutter. Some standardized things about yourself are cool, but always tailor a few sentences to each girl you contact.
The best way is to refer to something in the her profile. Every person’s favorite subject is themselves – remember that. Show that you’re curious or have something in common.
The First Sentence is Your Ticket to Getting Attention
The best place to do this is the first sentence; it’s the key to getting the rest of the message read. Express some gentle enthusiasm about something you have in common. Use her name. Mention an interesting detail about her profile.
Doing this here signals straight away that you actually read what she wrote. And that right there is a huge first step in standing out.
Even if the rest is generic, that one sentence makes it seem like it was all written to her.
Make Sure to Shake Her Up A Little Bit
Some antagonism goes a long way towards setting the mood online. Playfully challenge something she wrote or a detail in her picture.
Don’t overdo it and become a clown or a troll, but let her know you’re a fun guy ready to banter.
It’s called flirting.
It takes time to develop some true wit through the written word, so you may need practice. But when you do it right, you can almost read the shit-eating grin on her face when she replies.
Now the vibe is charged. Harness that energy, and you’re well on your way to a real date.
How You Should End Every Single Message
Don’t leave her wondering what you want from her – you’ve got to lead.
Do it by always ending the first message with a direct question.
Pay attention to how good conversationalist communicate. They give an answer, and then they ask a question, right? Either that or they leave a small bit of “bait” in their statement to arouse curiosity and incite a question from the other speaker.
Questions are what drive communication.
Since this is your initial intro, give her a concrete reason to respond.
Making a Connection is the Key to Online Dating Success
It’s easy to start viewing online interaction as less real.
But here’s the thing.
The disassociated nature of the web means connection is actually more important than usual. You have to try a little harder to bridge the gap and stand out, and even if you’re working with a proven system for turning your dating profile into a steady stream of dates, you have to show your humanity to see those results.
But for the absolute very best online dating messages, leave that to the experts, and get in touch with one of our professional dating consultants.
Beyond Borders
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