Here’s a contradiction for you: women say they prefer it when a guy calls.
The inconvenient caveat, is this only applies to guys she’s already very interested in.
It’s a catch 22. Particularly when you’re trying to make it happen with a girl you’ve only met online.
Text Girls VS Phonecall Girls
Here at Personal Dating Assistants, we polled 100 women on how a guy should follow up. While preferences varied, women older than 26 said they prefer to receive an old fashioned phone call. While our 18-25 text girls were generally more comfortable over text message.
In practice however, we’ve found that women of all ages rarely answer a call from a guy she’s given her phone number to online.
When we asked the girls why they didn’t respond to phone calls from guys they gave their phone number to online, some reasons were;
- “too intense”
- “it feels aggressive”
- “fear of silence”
- “too much effort”
- “I only answer XYZ numbers”
That said, many young women in our survey considered themselves old fashioned, and still strongly preferred a phone call.
So What’s the Best Play?
Our advice: Because you never know what kind of girl you’re dealing with, always kick things off with a phone call. Here’s why;
1..Having the balls to voice dial these days is akin to cold approaching; it will win you man points. Even if she doesn’t answer, she’ll be turned on by your assertiveness, compared to guys who only text.
2. Even if she doesn’t answer, you’ll get a text back if she’s interested. It simply means you need to make her feel some type of way over text first, before trying a phone conversation again.
Personal example; I open the game with a phone call. She doesn’t answer. I leave her a funny & charming voice message, so she knows who I am. 10 minutes later, she txts me back, “hey! sorry I couldn’t answer I was xyz”. In this case, I’ll text her back 15-20 minutes later.
“…text timing reflects who is more invested in the interaction. The person with less invested = higher status.“
While timing your first text may sound like a game, that doesn’t make it less important to play;
For better or worse, text timing reflects who is more invested in the interaction. The person with less invested = higher status. The pace setter is +1. The more eager person following, is in the -1 spot. Maintaining higher status is critically important for keeping a girl attracted. Especially one you haven’t spoken with yet.
That said, if she texts you back right away, then by all means, do the same. Insta-texts are closer to real-time conversation, and is some girls preferred method of communication.
Bottom line; Boys text girls first. Men make their play with a proper phone call. Stay flexible, and if she can’t handle the awesome power of your vocals, bring your text message A-game.
Want to learn more? If you’re interested in professional online dating help, we include date coaching with our full service solution here at PDA.
Matthew Valentines
An attraction technologist at heart, he travels the world in search of beautiful women, new ways to help men with their online dating, and the perfect single malt whiskey.
His column runs Tuesdays.
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