In a society that emphasizes casual sex, serial monogamy, and shallow interactions, some guys see online dating as a way to find something a little more old-fashioned and genuine. Yes, ironically enough, computing technology offers a platform for slowing down in this case. To actually spend some time getting to know each other in a world that otherwise always moves fast.
Fortunately, many women are frustrated with modern dating norms too. From the shy ones to the conservative ones to the religious ones to the ones who “just can’t ever seem to meet a nice guy,” plenty are heading out there in search of something different.
If you’re looking for a serious relationship online, here are some questions you should ask before diving in headfirst.
What is Your End Goal?
Some guys just want a steady pipeline of one-night stands without having to head out on the town three nights a week. And that’s fine; the internet is full of quality women who are open to causal encounters without judgment.
Other guys just want to date around and have some fun, see if it goes somewhere. That’s cool too.
Then there are guys who think about the good ole’ days, when men could meet women and not conceal their interest. Guys who are into their 30s or older and starting to think about marriage and family.
We’re not telling you what to want out of a relationship. But what we are telling you is that you get the best results online if you’re honest with yourself about what you want first.
Your intent needn’t be completely complicit, but knowing where you’re headed plays a large role in saying what you need to say on your profile, however subtle you say it, to attract the type of woman you want.
What Are Deal-breakers for You?
Most men are up for pretty much about anything on a certain level. Hell, you’ll at least entertain the thought, right? It’s just your nature.
Online, the name of the game is quantity and diversity. And since you want to keep your options open – after all, it’ll take a while to find what you’re looking for – you tuck women into little mental folders rather than filtering them out completely. “Worthy of casual sex.” “Super freak – could be fun.” “Not my type but looks fun to party with.” “Hell, I’ll save this one for a rainy day.”
Admit it – you may do this without even realizing it, you dirty dog.
Then you send the wife material a sincere message and hit the “possible fling” up with as suggestive a message as you can get away with.
Focus!
The more possibilities you scratch off your list by having some serious criteria, the faster you can meet the type of woman you do want. And the more you can tailor your approach to get her attention.
You know what all these side distractions are? Future crazy ex-girlfriends and “accidental” relationships that never should have happened.
What Are Your “Unique Selling Points?”
Too many guys make the same mistake when first entering the online dating scene that they made as young college students apply for their first jobs.
“So, why do you want to work here, Chris?”
“Uh, because I need cash.”
Dead silence.
Whether parading your wares for an entry-level job or puffing out your chest on the world wide web, you need to SELL yourself! And that means knowing your strengths and encapsulating your unique “personality” to show women what you have to offer over the next guy.
This is what makes you stand out from the other million faces online.
Of course, your unique advantages are always important when dating online, but they’re that much more important when you’re out to meet women who are screening for a long-term relationship (obviously your best bet when you want something serious as well).
Is Your Game Suited to the Online Marketplace?
Hey, maybe you’ve got some pretty decent game. You’re no Brad Pitt, but you’ve got a great fashion sense, your lifestyle is on point, you know how to banter with the best of them, and you’ve never gone celibate long.
The problem is you just haven’t got the time to get out and work your magic like you used to, and the online playgrounds are a great place to solve that problem.
But a stark lesson for many men who’ve had success with women off the web is that things change when you communicate with women solely on digital platforms. After all, it’s hard to turn on that charm from a computer. There’s no vibe, there’s definitely no body language, and a lot gets lost in translation.
Being successful with women online requires learning a whole new set of rules.
How Much Time Can You Commit?
You’ve probably turned to online dating because you’re too stretched for time to meet women otherwise, and you’d rather avoid mixing work and pleasure. If you’ve got the type of job where you can browse profiles and squeeze in your flirty messages from your office computer when the boss isn’t paying attention, that might make sense.
Hopefully you’re a good multi-tasker.
Unfortunately, that’s not a possibility for everyone. Even online dating can become a time-suck and consume your leisure hours. Not to mention that, like many forms of social media, it gets a bit addicting.
But the time issue can be solved with a simple, smart solution for the modern businessman. How about outsourcing your online dating?
A professional dating assistant can cast your line while you kick back, or focus on more important things. When they get a solid bite, they can hand off to you to reel in. On top of that, a PDA can show you how to “bait your hook,” or explain the strategies that work online, based on experience.
Most importantly, a dating assistant can help you put together an online dating profile that attracts the type of girl you actually want, instead of some random that happened to come along. Learn more to find out how.
Beyond Borders
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